I spent part of the week at a conference on "Engagement:" engaging our students, engaging faculty to connect with students, engaging the academy with the community, engaging scholarship with solving "real-world" problems. Now I don't want to go to grad school anymore.
More importantly, I thought about other senses of engagement, including romantic entanglement.
I've been choosing activities and communities that validate detachment:
1) Work. Work, work, work. If I'm willing to work weekends, work at night, work through crises, I'm hired. Or not fired.
2) Travel. If I'm far away, I can't be expected to pick up the sick kid from daycare, etc.
3) Relocate. If I live 1000 miles away from family, I'm not expected to get entangled in day-to-day drama.
4) Head space. If I live in my head, I can justify just about any behavior to suit my wants.
And then there's Charles. Charles. Charles said to me, "Karen, a significant relationship makes life experiences relevant. We need a special person to share our lives with, to celebrate our accomplishments with."
Damn.
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