In class today, we had Joel Korngut, the Equal Opportunity Officer/Omsbudperson talk to students about legal ramifications of sexual harassment and sexual assault. Joel met with the male students for half the period, and then met with the female students for the remainder of the class.
Joel was going on about how women need to protect themselves from risk, how 25% of college students are sexually assaulted, how men predate women. (see also mansplaining)
It didn't sound fun at all. Sex equals bad. Risk. Trust no one.
I interrupted. "I'd like to give a woman's perspective. Sex and parties can be fun, and there are safe ways of going out/meeting people. Here's how my girlfriends and I do it when we go out: we have a way of communicating with each other, 'hey maybe I might hook up with this guy' and we all carry condoms and make sure she's got one, and then tell her to give me a call next week" etc.
These first year female students--many of them appear to not yet 'hookup'--who is their role model for this sort of good communication behavior? Do they know what their own voice sounds like when they 'give consent'? Do they know how to make sure their partner wears a condom? Do they have a plan for how they want to react to the "I don't like the way it feels" or whatever speech for not wearing a condom?
So, perhaps I should make an instructional video. Not the panting/moaning kind, but the comedic play-by-play where I can pause it right there to say "here is where I explicitly give consent--when I reach into the bedside table drawer to pull out a condom."
And then show the outtakes: here is where he said, "oh, duh, I don't have a condom. I promise I'll pull out." To which I replied, "no problem. I have a condom!" etc
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