I've been thinking about cults, the ones we join, the ones we reject, the ones we leave once we recognize we're in them. The cults where we STAY when we recognize them as functioning in the structure of a cult around us.
Cult | non-Cult x(cross with) Awareness | non-Awareness
I am aware I am in a cult. | I am aware of the difference between cult and not-cult enough to
| articulate reasons why I am not in a cult.
_________________________________________________________________________
I am not aware I am in a cult. | I am not aware of the difference between cult and not-cult.
In my upbringing, there are Christian-y scripts against cult-like behavior.
Don't join things which look like cults--long flowing fabrics, singing, exuberance. THey're moonies or hippies and definitely doing drugs, so stay far from that. They might even socialize with non-white people as equals. Keep far from that.
[I'm developing a new writing genre of bulleted listicle of loosely connected ideas which eventually devolves into gibberish, like grains of sand blowing off the page, leaves of grass, representations of nature, or the nature of reality, cliches deconstructed into new cliches, into memes which are really subtweets which are really shade, which are really a way to write one's personal manifesto through coded signals in social media posts "I exist digitally! And IRL! And this artifact documents and archives my relations to these places, people, objects, ideas!" "I'm sharing"
I'm laid up with a sore back, and the last time it acted up like this I stayed home from spending the day with people who really didn't want me to be around them.
It is as if my back pain is an urgent message from my body to stop doing water I am about to do.
A few years ago my bf and his kids went on a weeklong trip together. Four days in and my back said no. I stayed behind and it was good that I took it easy rather than push ahead. But mostly because being with the kids and Marty stressed me so much. It was an important step towards me recognizing I don't have to try to be stepMom to people who don't want me to be in their life like that. [me recognizing a cult I'm not in--painfully at first, but now accept and everyone is much happier]
It isn't a failure. They have a cult to which I don't belong, and that's ok. I don't have to be in total accord with everyone in my family. With people who don't recognize me as family.
Putting clear boundaries around what I'll tolerate and what I won't looks suspicious to people who earlier didn't recognize my boundaries.
I have had them all along. I am making them explicit so people know where I stand, what and who I will tolerate. And by putting my word out here, on the line, I'm begging someone to hold me accountable to it. An accountability buddy in the ether. Make me do the things I say I want to do. please.
the cults I've joined, the cult of higher education (settler colonial, meritocracy discourse, pedigree/degree, exclusivity.) The cult of whiteness, of American exceptionalism, of midwestern nice, of Bay View. The "local food movement".
the ones I reject, the social registry,
the ones I leave (am leaving) once I recognized them. Breaking up with white supremacy, as Dr Tressie explains: https://tressiemcphd.medium.com/breaking-up-with-white-supremacy-was-always-the-end-game-e7101f578363
Breaking up with heteronormativity, with compulsory heterosexuality/marriage/procreation, breaking up with father-centric nuclear family model, breaking up with White Feminism (tm), breaking up with accepting that global oil cartels should dictate climate action, breaking up with political structures which do not answer to the democratic will of the people. White evangelical christianity, breaking with being a "good ____" when that means compromising my standards for some asshole who doesn't reciprocate.
The cults where I STAYed even after I recognize them as functioning in the structure of a cult around us.
My writing cult
My deep listening practice.
My military veteran identity
Music
Dick
Yoga, buddhisty philosophy
feministy theories
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I'm interested in the cults I STAY in because of the self-awareness. And the power of denial. And the possibility of figuring out strategies to deprogram myself. To leave a guide for others who wish to deprogram. What's on the other side we wonder?
To decide which of my cults are worth it, which need to be rejected even if it's painful to me. Painful to lose a job, to lose status/recognition, the future promise of a retirement account or world travel or whatever it was that I thought I was entitled to because of [education, whiteness, US passport, fill in the blank other subjectivities I am aware of and unaware of]. Painful to lose relationships, lifelong friendships, the esteem of a parent or sibling. Divorce. To lose opportunities I felt entitled to because of my cult affiliation.
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Prof Glick's assignment on self-reflection of cult indoctrination behavior
My freshman year at Lawrence, I took Prof Peter Glick's Intro to Psych course (he eventually became one of my advisors). He had an awesome essay assignment for us to learn about the traits of cult indoctrination/compliance, and then for us to reflect on a time when we were subjected to examples of cult indoctrination. I had just returned from army basic training that summer, so I had plenty to write about with regards to sleep deprivation, chanting songs and phrases, wearing uniforms (I mean really, even head shaving for the males), identifying a common enemy etc. I mean, the command chain for basic training is called TRADOC: training and indoctrination.
So I've been thinking about cult indoctrination since at least 1989. More formally the past few years as I process my educational experience of grad school in relation to the subject. In order to survive college ("traditional" college, which I deconstruct elsewhere), one has to leave one's family and social structures. By definition the process of higher ed is meant for personal transformation--from a child to a "man", an "educated" adult, perhaps even a more valued member of society, raising one's social position and earning power. I mean, all of these definitions are creepily elitist constructions that we in higher ed just OVERLOOK? wtf. yes, of course higher education is a structure which produces and reproduces structures of inequality. If you want to read my 270 page dissertation on the subject, click here.
One must "orphan" oneself in order to participate in these structures of Whiteness, Settler Colonialism, Plantation-class: in order to participate in higher education in a "traditional" sense (18 year old unencumbered by bills or dependents or off-campus work, at present usually mortgaging the future with a student loan with the plan to get a high enough paying future job which will cover that monthly bill(a highly exploitable human commodity, not even a cog in the machine but the fuel which turns the rusty cogs of the higher ed machine, some of the same gears which grind up our students in the process (gumming up--)))
Hannah Arendt (below) wrote of "we refuges"
and interpellation--having an identity thrust upon you, which doesn't make sense. Refugees we became as we joined the cult of the college, thereby being rejected by family/supports with whom we used to have reciprocal relations. Alien to both landscapes. Unrecognized because untethered by commonality and mutuality.
Many many of us are untethered. Many more will become so as internally displaced people due to climate change, due to covid disruptions to their living situations. Due to leaving family structures which had been toxic and finally became untenable because they recognized they had boundaries that their family wasn't respecting and the best thing to do was to reduce access to safe levels for harm reduction.
People are mobile and are looking to the future, how to build the future.
I'm building the structures. I'm the welcome wagon. Welcome to the future--we're glad you're here.
Join this cult.
We fully acknowledge our belief systems--who we are and what we stand for, what we'll tolerate and what we won't. You're free to come and go as you please, without coercion, but being with us means behaving to our group norms. You're in or out based on what you do/choose.
___
Joy comes in the Covid Morning
Who survives? What will they need? How do we bring in the orphans?
How to deprogram from a cult?
How to join a cult? (reference Prof Glick's assignment on self-reflection of cult indoctrination behavior)
Valkyries and White Entitlement
Greta Thunberg is a climate Valkyrie--bring us through this battle nordic witch! Tell it like it is!
https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/01/30/hannah-arendt-jewishness-we-refugees/
Arendt addresses the complexities of that identity in a powerful essay titled “We Refugees,” penned in the 1940s and included in the Arendt anthology The Jewish Writings (public library). Although its subject is Jewishness, the essay speaks stirringly to the broader tragedy of being thrust into refugee status on account of some fragment of one’s identity — be it religion or nationality or gender or ethnicity or any other variable of exclusion and discrimination.
In the first place, we don’t like to be called “refugees.” We ourselves call each other “newcomers” or “immigrants.”
A refugee used to be a person driven to seek refuge because of some act committed or some political opinion held. Well, it is true we have had to seek refuge; but we committed no acts and most of us never dreamt of having any radical political opinion. With us the meaning of the term “refugee” has changed.
The Disposable Single Use School District Infrastructure, thanks to Boomer Rationale
"You Best Keep Moving: Some Proud Boys Just Checked Into this Hotel"
https://tressiemcphd.medium.com/breaking-up-with-white-supremacy-was-always-the-end-game-e7101f578363
Breaking up with White Supremacy, breaking up Cis-heteronormativity, breaking up with male supremacy, breaking up with christian supremacy, breaking up with bad relations in general
How to get more to break up?
How to bring in the orphaned?
thisishumantrafficking.com. coercion, misrepresentation, how UBI would disrupt the structures of human trafficking
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